


Love bit

by littlelarrylocket



Category: One Direction
Genre: Actor Harry, Blowjobs, Camden Town, F/M, HIV/AIDS, Hand Jobs, Ill ad the smut tags as I go but fear not there shall be smut, Kissing and cuddling, London AU, M/M, Mentions of Past Depression, Past minor character death, Platonic Narry, Platonic Zouis and Lilo involving cuddles, Slightly older Harry Au, Tatoo Artist Louis, angst angst angst, but also fluff, geez i am bad at tags, wowie these are some shitty tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-04-28 14:57:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5094932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelarrylocket/pseuds/littlelarrylocket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Louis has to move out of his apartment due to the fact that bedbugs are EVERYWHERE, he knows that he'll be getting a roommate. He is used to his monotonous life of working at the tatoo shop, chilling with Liam and Zayn, getting anxious and drawing to keep it a bay, and yet he has a feeling that there is more to life than these rituals, and that turning into an old man at 26 isn't maybe the best idea.  But when he finds out that he's going to be spending the year with Harry Styles, party boy extraordinaire and starving actor on the side, he figures that this boy might be the one to get him out of his bland lifestyle. Besides, Louis is glad to have some company, because a troubled past leaves him with few friends and fewer lovers, not that he's interested in his flatmate or anything.<br/>Liam and Zayn are pretty much everyone's parents, and thank god because who else will remind them to eat and yet still bring weed to parties ?<br/>And staring Niall is Harry's bestfriend, an Irish reality TV star in hiding, trying to regain the semblance of a normal life, as well as being Harry next door neighbor.<br/>They all find each other when they need it the mostbr /></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> !!THIS FIC IS ON PAUSE !!  
>  This fic has kind of been all over the place from the start, so i'm taking a *hiatus* and i'll be working on more oneshots instead. Sorry if this is a dissapointment, I promise i will get back to it, just not now :/  
> Hi ! So this is the first chapter of what i promise will be a very flufy yet angsty fic, and I'm hoping you'll enjoy it !  
> Quick disclaimer: These stories all come from my own imagination, none of this is real and has actually happened.  
> I would love any contsructive criticism, or any opinion really I'm thirsty for advice  
> You can find me on tumblr at https://www.tumblr.com/blog/themotherpotato  
> Enjoy ;)  
> xox

Louis woke up in pain. He’d been having a nightmare about being mugged in the park, and just when he was about to sock the mugger in the nose, he punched the wall and a sat up so quickly that he hit his head against the headboard. He gingerly retracted his arm, looking at his bloody knuckles, while gently massaging the egg that was swelling up on the back of his head with his other hand. He painfully extracted himself from his bed, scratching at the bites that covered his back and arms, and put on a pair of joggers, all the while blowing on his wounded hand. He walked into the small kitchen of his apartment, clumsily wrapping his injury with some paper towel.

  
If Louis had been a well-adjusted adult of 25 years, he would have had the sufficient medical supply to take care of his bruise, he thought, as he tried, and failed, to put the kettle on with one hand. But Louis was about as far from well-adjusted as you could get, and paper towel would have to suffice. He hit his foot on the cupboard while reaching for a mug, and this being his third injury in less than ten minutes, he allowed himself a “Fuck this fucking furniture, fucking waste of space” as he hobbled towards the couch, finally managing to shove his mug of cold water into the microwave. This morning was off to a shitty start, and while Louis was not a specifically religious person, he knew what this was. This was his apartment telling him “go, shoo, get out of here !” and as of last night, Louis finally had that opportunity.

  
At seven he had met up with Zayn and Liam, and they had gone to their usual bar. They squeezed into their habitual booth, Liam getting up to get some beers from the bar. “So, mate, how is your situation working out?” Zayn had asked. Louis was pretty sure that Liam had asked him to ask Louis this, because it didn’t really seem like Zayn at all to initiate such a serious conversation. Zayn was the one Louis could chill with, joke and tease at his will, and such a serious face on his best friend did not bode well. “What do you mean, my situation? And since when have you turned into a shrink?” Louis aggressively asked. Zayn lifted his tattooed arms up above the table as if to say ‘hey, I didn’t want to talk about this either buddy’. “Liam, and I, have been wondering if you were still thiiis close to being eaten alive by the bedbugs in your apartment, and whether you were thinking of moving out?” Louis sighed loudly, noisily eating an olive from the dish in the center of the table.

  
“I am stuck in that fucking apartment, I signed the lease, I am broke as hell and cannot afford getting a new one, we have been over this” He groaned with exasperation. Liam had sat down in the middle of Louis rant casually putting his muscular arm around Zayn, easily fitting into the side of his boyfriend of three years. “And you…” Louis turned to face Liam, pointing an accusing finger at his friend, “you should know better than to ask about this again!” “Hey, I was at the bar” Liam said, feigning innocence. “Right, the bar. But Zaynie here, who will obey your every command, has asked for you. I’m not dumb you know, Mr. Payne, no not dumb at all” Liam sighed in resignation, taking a sip from his beer. “Well, yeah we have been over this a million times, I know. But I have some amazing news Lou!” he said, grinning slightly as he set his bear down. “A guy from my office knows a guy who will debug it.” “Oh, great!” Louis said sarcastically, “as if I hadn’t heard that before!”

  
During his six months after moving out of Zayn and Liam’s, he had had 14 bug exterminators come to his apartment, all found by Liam at the real estate firm he worked at. Every method, from diatomaceous earth to special vacuums to giant disinfecting sprays, nothing had gotten rid of the vermin. “We know mate, but this is really good apparently. There are, like, 400 reviews online bout this company, and it’s pretty much fail proof” Zayn said encouragingly. Ugh, thought Louis, weren’t they just the epitome of lovey? And dovey ? Zayn finishing Liams sentence and all. This ridiculous display just served to remind Louis that he currently had one sad booty call, and no boyfriend. So. That was shitty. “Sure whatever man, as long as its under 50 quid” Louis replied, knowing full well that any of the treatments were bound to be at least 200 pounds, and the main reason he was broke.

  
“That’s the best part !” Liam said excitedly, “Its free !” Now this was what he was talking about, Louis thought, leaning towards Liam. “Tell me more” he said impatiently, taking a gulp of his pint. “Well, they come every month and spray this biodegradable stuff, and its part of the city’s wellness campaign, or some shit, which explains why its free. The only thing is….” Liam trailed off. “What, what is the only thing ??” Louis asked, and even though he knew he was getting his hopes up for probably just another terrible try at getting rid of the vermin, he needed to know. “The city relocates you, with um, roommates. Because, the spray people come every month, for a year. And the stuff is toxic, so you can’t, er, live in your apartment” Liam continued, hesitantly. Louis slumped down into the booth, and hopeless once again. “Right, yeah, relocate me. Where? With what money? I make about this much at Clint’s” he pressed his thumb to his index finger “and I don’t want roommates again, I’m done with the whole ‘living with another person who I don’t know’ thing” Louis said exasperated. “Yeah, but it could be fun ! The apartments are in Knightsbridge, and you could use the company” Liam finished.

  
“Oh yeah, great way to remind me that I’m single and lonely as fuck, thanks lee” Louis said smarmily. “You know he didn’t mean it like that” said Zayn, a tiny warning flashing in his eyes. God, Louis thought, Zayn had no chill tonight. “Bonding over bedbugs, that sounds just, lovely!” exclaimed Louis, as the two other boys laughed, glad to see that Louis wasn’t really upset. “Well, say I was considering this” Liam beamed “WHICH I AM NOT!” Louis cried, his eyes crinkling as he grinned back “What would I have to do to get relocated?” “Well, being your best mate” Liam started, while Zayn hit him lightly on the head, saying “Oi”. Liam turned and kissed his jaw, to which Louis gagged. “You know what I mean” Liam continued, kissing his boyfriend back

.  
“Still here!!” Louis exclaimed, hitting the table and startling his friends. “Right, er, well, being your best mate” Liam looked pointedly at Zayn, “I’ve already filed an application for you, and you can move tomorrow” “Liam Payne, you weasel, tomorrow ?! I mean, what about this apartment, the lease, the… the… My stuff!” Louis cried out, hitting Liam playfully on the chest. “It’s your call, but the van comes tomorrow at 4, and if you decide not to, you can send them away” Liam said sheepishly. “Well, I’ll need to think about it. One doesn’t just jump on any occasion to leaves ones bed bug ridden apartment, does one? Oh wait, one does !” Louis smirked, his two friends laughing heartily.  
The ding of the microwave brought Louis out of his reverie, and he hobbled towards it, plunking a tea bag into his mug of steaming water. Well, this was quite an opportunity, and Louis was so fucking sick and tired of this bug ridden apartment that a single roommate seemed like a better alternative to a colony of them. So, he finished his drink, and lazily looked around his small apartment. It wouldn’t take long to pack, his clothes being the biggest thing he’d have to move anyway. As it was Sunday, he couldn’t very well go t the shop and buy boxes.

  
So instead Louis got dressed and left his apartment, driving towards Clint’s Ink shop in his beat up blue twingo, his spare key safely in his pocket. He arrived at the small, hole in the wall tattoo parlour where he worked, and opened the shop. It was in Camden town, down a side street that only the locals knew about, and to be honest it was one of the best. Louis liked to think it was thanks to his drawing skills, that were, if he said so himself, quite above average. It was odd, walking into the dark, empty studio so early on a Sunday morning. Being used to the noise and chatter and buzzing of needles that usually inhabited it, Louis was not exactly at his most comfortable. He walked into the back room, passing the two reclining chairs used by the clients, and the walls covered in tattoo sketches. The “backroom” as Louis manager Clint called it, was more of a broom cupboard, piled to the ceiling with boxes from old supply deliveries, as well as a broken mini-fridge that Clint refused to throw away because it had been the mini-fridge that came with the place, and had been deemed magical by Louis and himself on a drunken night. And you just didn’t mess with superstitious rituals you make up while drunk, anyone could tell you that.

  
Louis carried as many boxes as he could out to his car, when his cell buzzed alerting him that a text from Zayn had arrived:

  
_So, moving ? You probably need a hand, we’ll come by for lunch_

  
Louis sighed loudly, annoyed about how Zayn had really turned into his mum since he’d started dating Liam, and yet endeared by how well his friends knew him.

  
**Yes, please don’t ‘I knew it’ me, and sure, make yourself at home**

His phone buzzed again, showing the immediate reply:

  
_I would never ;) what food do you want ?_

**Oh fuck off. Chinese**

  
_Roger_

  
Louis laughed softly, and he clumsily locked up the shop. That had probably been the speediest visit to Clint’s he’d ever done, most likely due to the absence of Clint, who was just getting up in the apartment above, with the pain of the previous night’s hangovers. He drove back to his flat, London’s grey sky getting more menacing by the minute, and considering Louis outfit of joggers and a tank, rain would not exactly be the greatest thing to walk under with ten boxes to move from his car to his front door. Driving out of Camden town a car ran a light right before him, and with cries of “What the bloody hell? You wanker!” being voiced out the window to an empty street, he got safely home. The morning went by slowly, as Louis folded his clothes and took apart his bed, all that with a hurt hand and a sweltering bump on his head. By noon, he was about ready to quit, which was not great because there was still the whole kitchen to pack, and yet Louis couldn’t find the energy to keep wrapping each plate into a t-shirt, due to the absence of bubble wrap.

  
When the bell rang downstairs, Louis slowly got up from the couch he had been taken a power nap on and lazily walked to buzz Liam and Zayn in, yawning what was probably the biggest yawn in world history.  
Liam walked in warrying a mountain of take away boxes, followed by Zayn who carried only trash bags. “Louis, Louis, Louis, finally ready to leave this place eh ?” Liam asked, setting the food out on the table. “Yeah, except that how am I going to pay two rents? Did that ever enter your brilliant plan, oh glorious mastermind?” Louis asked, his hands on his hips. Zayn chuckled, staring at how terribly gay his friend looked. Louis glared at him sticking out his tongue, and Zayn glared right back. Hey, we’ve already established that he’s not well adjusted, ok? “Yeah, about that, you still have to pay the rent here” Liam said cautiously. “Ha, knew it. This whole thing was too good to be true” Louis replied, shaking his head as he stuffed an alarmingly large dumpling into his mouth.

  
Liam slurped his noodle, and Louis was pretty sure that Zayn wanted to sweep in and take the other end, Tramp style, but refrained himself. If he’d done that, Louis is positive he would’ve vomited, or worse. Having lived with the other two for 2 years previous, he’d seen and heard about everything imaginable, and yet he was still not very comfortable with them sucking face in front of him. The sultry looks they gave each other were erotic enough to Louis liking, and he’d like it if that was the only part of their love life he was a part of, thank you very much.

  
“Well, yeah, you have to pay the rent for this apartment, but the new one is free. The city wellness plan, remember?” Liam finished, glancing at Louis. He really hoped that Louis wouldn’t back out now. “Well, you’ve got it all squared away, haven’t you? There are no flaws in your plan, Lee-yum, and I think that this may be the last day I ever spend in this apartment!” Louis said excitedly. “To the last day” said Zayn, fake solemnity making his tight lips twitch into a smile, as he raised the Ribena he’d gotten from the fridge. “To the last day!” the others joined it, lifting their own drinks. Louis looked around his small flat, and was absolutely sure that he was more than ready to leave this place.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit longer than the first, but we finally have all of them together !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, heres chapter two! Again, any advice or opinion would reeeeealy be appreciated ! hope you like it ! Also I realise I'm posting this just hours aprt from the other one, and it's because I've written up to about chapter four, and I'll be spacing them out a bit weirdly, I'm sorry !  
> xoxox

After a quick lunch, the boys got back to packing. They spent the afternoon taking apart Ikea furniture, and folding clothes, until the van came at 4. Two hunky men buzzed the doorbell, and they quickly brought the boxes down stairs, and drove off towards Knightsbridge. “Well!” said Louis, putting his sweatshirt on, “let’s check this apartment out!” The three of them piled into the twingo, Louis waving a final goodbye to his apartment.

  
“Don’t get too excited mate, you’ll be back next year” Zayn smirked. “Who knows where I’ll be next year? Honestly, I might have joined Doctors without Borders, or the Peace Corps. I might leave London forever after this year” Louis responded airily. “Yeah, right, of course. You pass out at the sight of blood, and I don’t very well see you building schools in Costa Rica. Besides, what about Clint ?” Zayn stated, pulling a baggy out of his pocket. Louis rolled his eyes, and looked out the window, staring at the desolate streets of Camden town. From the back of the car, Liam called “So, the address is 19 Beaufort gardens, by Harrods, sort of” “Ooh posh!” Louis exclaimed. But quickly he wondered if his new neighbors would mind a tattooed, gay, and broke person to join their ranks as Beaufort Gardens inhabitants.

  
Meanwhile, Zayn was calmly rolling a blunt, and lit it, right in the middle of traffic. He took one puff and passed it to Louis, who breathed in deeply. “Oi ! Were in the middle of traffic ! Give me that!” Liam said angrily, reaching over to take the joint from Louis. He pinched the end, and put it in his pocket. “You’re no fun” Louis replied. “Yeah, well the last thing you need right now is being charged with drug possession, so thank me” Liam snapped. “Yeah, thanks.” Louis conceded. After fifteen more minutes of friendly banter, they arrived in Beaufort gardens. Louis was shocked by how posh it all was, Beaufort was a u-shaped courtyard, with white apartments buildings lining each side, Columns stood on each side of the doorways. “Damn’ said Zayn, impressed. “I can’t believe the city is paying for this” Louis said, as Liam let out a whistle. They pulled up to the last building on the right side of the ‘u’, the old twingo sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the mini coopers and fiats 500, all perfect and sleek. Louis was already wondering whether he could tell the van to just turn around.

  
Zayn walked up to number 19 and rang the bell, Liam and Louis joining him. Apprehension was already pooling in Louis stomach, because if he had to live with some snobby, daddy’s boy for a year, who played golf and, and, belonged to a club, than he much preferred bedbugs. Just then the door opened.  
Louis stared. He stared at a tall, curly haired man of maybe 28, wearing impossibly tight black jeans, a large white t-shirt that showed the beginning of some tattoos. He stared at the dimples that were formed while he talked, and at his pearly white teeth and… “Louis!” Liam said loudly, snapping him right out of it. What was wrong with him? Louis mentally shook himself, this is not the time to look like a total idiot he thought, as he shook the man hand. “Hey! I’m Harry, nice to meet you. You’re Louis right?” said the man, extending his hand towards Zayn. Zayn shook his head, “Nah, I’m Zayn. This here-he stuck his thumb towards Louis-is the one you’ll be living with” Louis shook the hand that was still expectantly hanging in midair. God, that voice. It was so deep and raspy, and Louis could just imagine it screaming his name and- God, what was his problem?

  
He’d barely met the guy and he was already making up sexual fantasies about him. Apparently Louis really needed to get laid. “Yeah, Hi. I’m Louis, I, um, have a van of stuff coming in like, an hour or so” he stuttered. “Oh perfect, come on in!” Harry said, pushing the door open wider. The three boys walked into a wood floor hallway. Harry pointed to a door “That’s Niall’s place. He pays for the apartment, he’s um, not been relocated or anything. He pointed towards a staircase. “Those lead to Jamie’s place, she was from the west end, but got a massive termite infestation, so she got placed here. And here-Harry opened a door- is my place! And yours too, now” The four of them walked into a high ceilinged sitting room, with a large brown couch and a flat screened TV attached to the wall. A bar separated the kitchen from the living room. There were paintings on the walls, and a massive Indian drapery with purple swirls stretched across a wall. “This is really nice” Liam said appreciatively, patting the suede couch.

  
“Through here is the bathroom, and this is my room.” Harry pointed to two closed doors. This one is yours” he pointed to the last door. Louis opened it. It wasn’t big, but definitely bigger than the one he’d had in Camden. There were two large window that illuminated the room, with a door that lead to the bathroom he’d share with Harry. The floors were hardwood, and the walls white. A wooden bed just like the one he’d had stood in the middle of the room, with a chest of drawers opposite from it.

  
“Wait, this place comes with furniture?” Louis asked. “Of course it does, I mean, they don’t want you to bring your bugged stuff in here. The last thing they need is for you to contaminate the place they’re offering you.” Harry replied with a laugh. “Oh right” Louis said. How could he have been so dumb? He’d spent so much time taking his bed apart, and now he’d just have to tell the delivery men to drop it off at the dump. They went back towards the kitchen, each one sitting on one of the bar stools. “So, Louis, how come you’re here?” Harry asked. God, his eyes were so green, and his skin so perfect and Louis really needed to get a grip. “I’ve had bedbugs in my apartment ever since I moved in, and um, Liam here set me up with this whole ‘moving out for a year’ thing” Louis finished. “Ah that’s shit mate, I’m sorry. I lived in Hackney” Louis snorted involuntarily.

Because of course this lanky asparagus man would come from the gayest part of London. Then again, Louis won’t complain about having this piece of info. “And uh, same, bedbugs. Got terrible, had to throw out all my stuff. I found out about this program and figured that if I got to live in Knightsbridge for free, there really wasn’t a downside” He finished, smiling.

  
Then the doorbell rang. Harry got up to open it, and Zayn muttered “Keep it under control Lou, try hiding the boner at least.” Louis turned red and checked his pants. There was no abnormal bulge, thank god. “Fuck off” he told Zayn, who laughed so hard he fell off his bar stool. Liam grinned at his boyfriend. Just then a loud Irish accent could be heard saying “What’s all this? Hello lads!” as a blond boy with blue eyes and sporting a batman t-shirt walked towards the fridge and grabbed a beer, despite it being only 5. “Hey, I’m Louis, Harry’s new roommate.” Louis said, instantly taking to the boy’s huge smile and Irish accent. Liam and Zayn shook his hands, Zayn commenting about the batman t-shirt. Well, Zayn’s comic book obsession would very likely come in handy if he was planning on befriending the Irish man. “I’m Niall, I live across the hall” he pointed towards the door that Harry had shown the earlier. There was an expectant pause after he said his name. None of the boys reacted, Liam looking at Zayn as if to say “you know him?” and Zayn raised his eyebrows as if to answer “not a clue”. Seemingly satisfied, Niall plunked himself on the couch and turned on the telly.

  
“Right, so I just checked, I think the van is outside” said Harry, peeking through one of the windows. The four of them went outside, taking in the boxes, and leaving the furniture in the truck. Niall stayed in his position, only helping by making comments like “Oh, that looks fookin heavy” as Louis struggled to carry a box of shoes towards his room. Harry quickly came beside him and easily lifted the box, and Louis could swear he saw Niall mimic the BeauBatons girls entry into Hogwarts, in the ‘The Goblet of Fire’, when they lifted their arms delicately and bent their knees with an “aaahhhh”. He could see Liam giving the blond a high five, and Zayn laughing so hard he had to put his box down.  
He followed Harry into the room. “Where do you want this ?” Harry asked, as Louis indicated the floor. God his arms were so strong, and muscly, and all the tattoos were just begging for Louis to lick them and graze his teeth across them- Clearly he needed Jesus. Or a bath in holy water.  
The rest of the evening was spent that way, with the unpacking of all of Louis possessions, Liam and Zayn leaving with Niall, claiming they had a ‘thing’. Louis knew what they were doing, but he just waved them off, and looked at the cab that took them off for a bit…

  
“So, what are you doing this evening?” Harry asked, just when Louis had finally settled himself down on the couch. “Hum…nothing?” replied Louis “It’s Sunday night, so generally on Sundays I watch Breaking Bad until ten and go to bed at around ten thirty” Harry laughed. His laugh was so sexy, all low and gravely, Louis wanted to faint. “Really? I thought a spiffing lad like you would be hitting the town” And whoa. Wait a second. Had Harry just called him spiffing? Apparently yes. “Yeah, I don’t really club anymore” he muttered, mushing himself even further into the couch. “Well, I’m taking you out! To celebrate you’re moving in here, and all.” Harry said, sitting next to Louis. “Yeah, I don’t know mate…” He trailed off. “No no, no, it’s not a question!” Harry exclaimed as he shook Louis by the shoulders.

  
This boy had no pity. So Louis lazily got up from the couch and to his room. He traded his sweatpants for tight blue jeans, and his tank for a heather grey t-shirt that showed off his clavicle tattoos. He slipped on his white vans and joined Harry back in the living room. During the time it had taken for Louis to get ready, Harry had put on a light pink silk shirt, and a wide brimmed black hat, as well as an assortment of small necklaces. Louis shivered at the sight of him. “Off we go!” Harry said, and locked the door behind them. In the parking lot, Louis automatically went towards his twingo, but Harry interrupted him “You have a car?” “Yeah, its beat, but it works” Louis replied, getting in the driver seat. “Oh perfect! I take the tube everywhere, can’t afford a car. But I’ll get to use yours now!” Harry smiled, getting in passenger side. Louis grinned, at how domestic that sounded. Sharing his car? Well, to be honest he’d gladly give Harry his car if he wanted it.

  
“Where to?” Louis asked, as they pulled onto the main road. “There’s this place in Hackney, here, I have the directions on my phone” Harry pulled up google maps, and together they maneuvered the crowded streets, Louis thinking all the while that he hadn’t been out on a Sunday night since uni. Maybe it was time to start again.  
About twenty minutes later, they parked their car in front of a bar called ‘Blunderbuss’. “You’ll love this place!” Harry said, quickly walking towards the entrance. Louis followed, feeling out of place. Why had he accepted to go out? On a Sunday? He was supposed to be asleep by now! They walked in, and Louis was immediately brought back to his uni days. The crowed space, the gyrating, sweaty bodies surrounding him. Harry took Louis wrist, and Louis caught himself sighing. He know it was to keep track of him in the crowd, and solely for that reason, but still…He had large hands, so large, in fact, that they not only squeezed his wrist, but also most of his forearm. They finally arrived at the bar, Harry ordering two green drinks for them.

  
“So! I wanna know more about you!” Harry shouted above the music. Louis took a sip of his drink. “I’m twenty-six, I work at a tattoo place, and I’ve been living in constant itchiness for six months. You?” Louis replied. Harry smiled wide, and it was breathtaking. The way his eyes crinkled and his dimples appeared. “I’m twenty-eight, an ‘actor’” he made quotations marks with his fingers. “Really? What are you in?” Louis asked. “It’s a small gig, not the west end or anything. The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Ever heard of it?” Louis couldn’t believe it. “I can’t believe it! I love Rocky! I’ve been obsessed with it since I was fifteen. I actually came out to ‘Sweet Transvestite’’ Why was he telling all this to Harry, a boy he’d known for less than 24 hours? And why did it feel so natural? Harry laughed so hard he spit out his drink.  
“Seriously? That’s the gayest thing I’ve ever heard!” he exclaimed, wiping away tears of laughter. Just then a tall, dark bloke sidled up to Harry’s side. “You look great tonight Harry” Harry, turned toward him “Oh, um, hey Nick!” Without any further conversation, Nick pulled Harry on to the dancefloor. Harry looked apologetically at Louis, who shook his head in a ‘go have some fun’ way.

  
Alone at the bar, he couldn’t help staring at Harry and that Nick guy. Nick was grinding on Harry in the dirtiest way Louis’d seen in a long time. Just then he felt a hand on his bum. He whipped around starting with a “Hands off you prick” and finishing by pushing the man away. The short, lilac haired bloke looked so offended that Louis wondered whether he had been the one to grope a stranger. Still, it did kind of flatter Louis’ ego that someone had purposely touched his arse.

  
About an hour later, Louis had danced awkwardly with Lilac hair, because after all he was kind of cute. At around one he found Harry again, laying in a heap on a sofa, totally shit-faced. Louis wasn’t exactly sober, but since he knew that one of them would have to drive back, he’d taken his precautions. “Louuuuu” Harry slurred, as Louis lifted the older boy by the middle. They stumbled together towards the door, Harry muttering things like “Niice purple hair, eehh ? Louiiis ‘m sick”. Right when they got outside, Harry vomited onto the pavement. The few smokers that were outside gave him a disgusted look, but Harry was in no state to retaliate. ‘Wharaya lookin’ at” he slurred, pointing to a man sitting right by the sick, who’d abruptly gotten up as vomit touched his shoes.

  
“Come on Haz” Louis said, pushing him into the passenger seat. Haz? What? Not even 24hours and they had nicknames ? Louis wasn’t sure if that was marvelous, or a disaster. They drove back in silence, mainly due to the fact that Harry had fallen asleep against the window. Back in Beaufort gardens, Louis shook Harry awake and helped him get to the front door. He accompanied him to his room, and took Harry’s shoes off. “Thanks Louu, for taking care of meee” he said, as he curled into a ball on the bed, fast asleep. Louis stared at him, resisting the urge to run his hand through the other boy’s curls. How could this man be 28 and yet act like such a big cuddly baby. “Night Haz” he murmured, as he exited the dark room.  
He undressed, and slipped into his new bed, thinking that maybe, just maybe, he could do with trying new things, once in a while. And he was certain that living with Harry would be about as far from monotonous as he could get.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter introduces the fluff and the angst, so ya know, it's stating to get real. Ooh also we learn about Niall's *famous* past !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi !  
> So, sorry again about the hectic posting thing that I've got going on, I swear it'll get better. Please leave me a comment, I would love any advice or constructive criticism. This chapter implies drug use, just if that's a problem for you, yeah.  
> Hope you enjoy !  
> xoxo

When Louis woke up the next day, he was disoriented, but the pale sunlight streaming through the windows reminded him of his surroundings. New apartment, right. 19 Beaufort Gardens, all that. Louis’s brain was working slowly, and complete sentences weren’t really forming in his head. God, his head. Hurt like hell. Louis stood up, and in a sudden moment of clarity, he understood: He was hungover. He hadn’t been hungover since uni, and it honestly felt kind of…good? So sue him, it reminded him of his college days, of bad vodka and bad parties and of Sta-. Louis gave himself a mental slap. Do. Not. Think. About. Stan.  
He put on his favorite grey joggers and walked through the living room and into the kitchen. According to the oven clock it was 11, which caused Louis to instantly panic. Work, started at 10. Clint. Shiiiite. Just then, Harry came out of the bathroom, completely naked, his curls wet and sticking to his neck. “Woah there, Harry, I know you’re glad to see me, but...” Louis said, grinning. He couldn’t help himself, and besides he’d seen Liam and Zayn naked countless times, and this wasn’t any different, right? Just roommates. But damn, Harry was well equipped. And Louis stared at all his tattoos, his butterfly, his laurel leaves…and lower. What can you say? He’s only human.  
“Oh hey Lou!” Harry said, smirking. How could this man be 3 years older than Louis? He walked into his bedroom, and came out moments later wearing black skinny jeans and a navy blue button up. Louis finished gulping down a bowl of cereal, and rushed into his room, putting on the same clothes he’d worn the day before. “I’ve got to rush, Clint’ll be furious. I took the spare key that was on the counter, hum, have a good day!” Louis said in one breath, as he slammed the door shut. He rang the doorbell moments later, Harry opening it. “Did you want a goodbye kiss?” he asked, pushing his lips towards Louis. “Ew no, forgot my car keys” Louis said, pushing by him and laughing. He grabbed his car keys from the table and slammed the door again, muffling Harry’s “Byyyyyyye”.  
That had been fucking domestic, Louis thought, as he drove through central London. Seriously, he’d known the bloke for about a day and he’d already seen him drunk, naked, and given him a nickname. At this rate they’d be having kids by Wednesday. He pulled up in front of Clint’s and rushed through the door, only to be greeted by Perrie. “Well, someone had a lie in !” she said, smiling towards Louis. Perrie worked at Clint’s with Louis, in fact they’d been hired on the same day. She was Louis age, a tall blond covered in tattoos, most of them Louis’. She was also Clint’s niece, her only relative who’d accepted to have her live with him after she’d dropped out of med school. They got along well, mostly due to the fact that they both shared a love for inking each other’s skin.  
“Yeah, I’m so sorry! I just moved, yesterday in fact, and my new pad’s in bloody Knightsbridge” he said, taking his sweatshirt off and looking at the client register. “Lucky for you, Clint is out of town, and our first customer is at one, so we can just chill until then” Louis sighed with relief and plopped down into one of the reclining chairs. “I’m getting my hair died at Mel’s, see you at one!” Perrie said, and walked across the street to Mel’s hair salon. Louis checked his phone, and he noticed an unknown number had texted him:  
Sorry about this morning, still getting used to the whole roommate thing   
Louis chuckled, and texted a quick reply:  
Don’t worry about it! But how’d you get my number?  
Zayn typed it into my phone. How’s work?  
Fine, no clients till one though   
Could I come and hang out? If you’re not busy?  
Well, this was interesting. If Harry, godly, lanky curly Harry wanted to bless Louis tattoo shop with his presence, who was he to complain?  
Sure, you can google how to get here. It’s in Camden town, Clint’s Ink.  
Be there in 20! xx.  
Louis grinned at his phone like an idiot for a couple minutes. Harry wanted to hang out with him. For no reason. Just to hang out. And he’d finished with ‘xx’. Hum. To prepare for his arrival, Louis ordered take away from the burger place next door, and killed time by disinfecting every needle in the shop. While he was glancing over todays chart, the door chimed as Harry walked in.  
“Hey” Harry said, his deep voice making Louis jump. “Oh hey!” Louis said, indicating the other chair. Harry sat down, keeping his eyes on Louis. “So, this is where you work then?” he asked. “Yep, most of these are mine, or Perries” Louis said, waving towards the drawings that littered the walls. “She works with me, nice girl” Harry nodded. “Are you hungry? I bought some burgers, not sure if you’d like them but I figured most people like burgers, but if you don’t its fine, I’m sure we can find something else, I think I have some biscuits or…” he trailed off, Harry laughing gently. “Don’t worry about it Lou, burgers are fine” Louis, for the second time that day, sighed with relief. He had the tendency to overthink a bit, which caused him a lot of unnecessary stress. They ate in comfortable silence, and Louis couldn’t help thinking that he liked this. In fact, he liked this a lot. Liam had been right, he really could use the company. This felt normal, and comfortable, and natural. He could get use to this.  
“What have you got this afternoon?” Harry asked, tucking a curl behind his ear. Louis thought about tucking Harry’s curl behind his ears for him, about touching his hair and pulling his hair and nuzzling his face- Goddamn, Louis was whipped. “I have a bloke who’s been trying to book an appointment for weeks. Poor sod got a knob tattooed onto his left arm” Louis said, trying not to laugh, as Harry squirted his soda out through his nose. “That is the single stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!” he howled, tears streaming down his face. “I know! And the worst thing is, his name’s Dick” Louis said dissolving into laughter. Harry lost total control, hooting the loudest laugh Louis had ever heard. This day was going swimmingly, and Louis loved it.  
They just sat there, in peals of laughter until it subsided to quiet giggles. “Thanks for letting me come over” Harry said smiling towards Louis. Louis wanted to kiss. His. Face. “No problem, this is really fun” he replied. They’d long since fallen off the seats, preferring the checked floor of the shop. They were now laying side by side on the cold ground, and Louis was so tempted to just extend his arm and hold Harry’s hand. But he refrained himself, instead getting up and getting a rag to wipe the sticky drink off the floor. “I’m so sorry about that! Let me” Harry said, reaching for the cloth” “Nah don’t bother, its fine” Louis replied.  
Harry put the hamburger boxes in the bin, and started looking at Louis tattoos. “What are these?” He asked, pointing to the silly tats that covered Louis right forearm. “Those” Louis said, getting up, “those are the result of me getting drunk with Clint and being stupid enough not to take the needle away from him” Harry chuckled. “At least there isn’t a prick” he said, starting to laugh once again. Immediately afterwards, the door chimed as a man of about 40 years came into the shop.  
“Hello, I’m Dick, I came for the one o’clock ?” he started. “Yep, right this way” Louis said, stifling a laugh and pointing towards the reclining chairs. “See you later, thanks for letting me come by” Harry said, as he exited the shop. Louis gave him a thumbs up, to which Harry replied with an obscene gesture in relation to Dick’s tattoo. Louis grinned, and started preparing the ink.

Louis came home at 6, tired and hungry. He’d had a rough afternoon, because Dick had not been satisfied with the giant lion that Louis had inked as a cover up of the unfortunate dick tattoo. And then Perrie had stayed at Mel’s way longer than expected, so Louis had had to deal with the bratty teenager who had come to get her boyfriend’s name tattooed onto her neck. She’d left in a fit of tears halfway through, upon receiving a text from said boyfriend, saying that he wasn’t really down to get her name tattooed. Louis was glad when finally, he closed the shop and drove back to Beaufort.  
He entered his apartment to find Niall sprawled on the couch, beer in hand, talking animatedly with Zayn and Liam. They were all settled around the TV, watching a Batman film while listening to Niall. “And then he was like, fight me, fight me ya piece of scum, so I had to, ya know?” Niall finished. “Helloooo Loueh!” Zayn cried, as Louis plopped onto the overcrowded couch. “How was your day?” Liam asked, handing him a bottle. “Not great, but I did get to see a bloke with a massive prick tattooed on his arm” Louis replied, to general hilarity.  
“Where’s Harry?” he asked, as Zayn gave Liam a look. “He’s at a party, went out an hour ago” Niall replied. “At five?” Louis asked, incredulous. “Yeah, it’s some kind of rave, lasts twelve hours, so he’ll be barging in at five tomorrow morning. Just thought you oughta know” Niall finished, taking a swig of his drink. Well damn, a rave. That certainly brought back some memories. Memories he wasn’t particularly keen on bringing up right now. So instead Louis turned the subject back to Niall. “Who is it you had to fight?” Louis asked with genuine curiosity. The three boys gave each other knowing looks. Louis felt left out of there, er, whatever this was. But at the same time it felt good to see his old friends meeting his newer ones. Also, Louis hadn’t really spoken with Niall much, and the fact that the three of them were getting along meant that he 1) was not dangerous and 2) probably a likeable bloke.  
“So, er, mate, you need to keep this to yerself, alright?” Niall asked, his face suddenly serious. Zayn paused the film. Louis nodded, more intrigued than ever.  
“Back in Ireland, I was a bit of a celebrity, because I was on this reality show, like Geordie Shore, yeh? And I spent two years in a row doing it. I got kicked out of the house cos’ I broke this pricks’ nose, when I was sloshed. And this bloke see, he was the one everyone was rootin’ for, so it didn’t go down too well with the audience. In the end I got kicked out, but back in Mullingar the only people who didn’t take the piss off me every day were me mum and me dad. It got really bad, like I couldn’t walk down the road without hearing some bloke yell shite. So I came here, found this apartment, and I’ve just been hanging with Harry and Jamie since.”  
Niall finished, finally exhaling. Louis couldn’t believe his ears, Niall was famous! Well, famous in Ireland, but still, it was something. “So you’re sure you’ve never heard of me?” Niall asked, with a mix of relief and disappointment. “Never heard of you, sorry mate” Louis said, smiling. “But what do you do, like, with your days? Do you work?” Liam asked, now that Louis was all caught up. “Yeah, I play at some bars, a few evenings a week, with a mate. And I give guitar lessons, but I only have one student for now. To be honest I don’t really need a job, the press loved the fact that I’d hit one of the other housemates, and I made quite a lot of money off that. And the show payed great money as well.”  
Zayn whistled. Living off a scandal was essentially his life’s goal, even if for now he was an intern at a graphic design company, where he fetched coffee all day. “Well fuck” said Louis, getting up and helping himself to the open box of pizza on the counter. “Yeah, it’s crazy, I know” Niall said apologetically. “But it’s nice to meet people who don’t know about that part of my life” he said, smiling sadly. “Do you mean that all your friends back home took the piss too?” Louis asked. “Well, yeah, but I actually acted like a total git with them, so I can’t really blame ‘em. The fame got to my head, you know, that kind of thing” he finished sheepishly.  
Liam patted him on the back “It’s alright now though, we won’t let fame get anywhere near you” he said, as Niall chuckled. They spent the rest of the evening ignoring the movie and talking, the four of them sharing stories. By the time they left, Louis felt that he’d known Niall forever, and he was more than happy with that.

Louis was awoken by a loud cry of “Holly fucking shite where is the fucking doorknob?” Remembering Niall’s warning of the previous evening, he got up and turned the hallway light on. Leaning against the door to his bedroom was Harry, his hair matted to his head, and his black t-shirt ripped in four different places. His eyes were red and glossy, and Louis decided that no matter how un-put together Harry looked, he still looked amazing. “Jesus Harry, it’s ten past fucking five, what the hell?” Louis asked sleepily. “I just got back from this twelve hour rave, and the doorknob is moving, so would you mind opening the door please Louis?” Harry asked his hands trembling. Louis took pity on his gangly roommate and let him into his room. It was dark, and Louis couldn’t really see much part from the king-sized bed he’d helped Harry onto the previous night.  
Again, he took Harry’s shoes off, and again he pulled the covers over the boy. As he was walking out, he heard “Lou?” “Yeah” he replied, turning towards Harry. “Would you mind, just um, staying with me?” he asked, patting the bed next to him. He really was a sorry sight, and so Louis climbed into the bed, laying on his side behind Harry. He smelled of sweat and alcohol, and his trembling indicated he’d probably had ingested more than just drinks at the party. Louis tentatively started rubbing circles into Harry’s back, and Harry leaned into the touch.  
Louis hadn’t expected his first time in bed with Harry to be quite so dramatic, but he definitely would have felt worse if he’d let the drugged man stay awake, shivering and bloodshot, all alone.  
He woke up in an unfamiliar bed, yet again, his head resting atop Harry’s chest. Louis could hear his heart beat, could feel every muscle twitch against his cheek. During the rest of the night he’d somehow draped himself on top on Harry, Harry’s arm resting peacefully on his back. Louis moved with a jolt, realizing what had happened. He’d slept alongside Harry, Harry who had been high out of mind and would never remember the previous night’s events.  
Louis took a shower, got dressed and drove to Clint’s, all before Harry had woken up. Louis felt weird and wrong, and he felt he’d taken advantage of Harry, even though Harry had asked him to sleep with him. Had he been completely sober, Louis would have felt no guilt at all. But this he was feeling now? Yeah, it was definitely guilt.  
The day went by slowly, Louis focused on his work, blocking out any thought that entered his head. Funny, it was, how he’d gotten really good at that. He was in his element, patiently drawing every minute detail onto his clients skin, watching with the same awe he felt every time, the tattoo appear before his eyes. It was magical, in the way that tree rings are magical, or seashells. Up close, every minute detail showed up, every miniscule particle of the object as perfect as the others. But when you backed up, and looked directly at it, the ensemble was magnificent.  
At the end of the day he drove directly home, hoping that his friends wouldn’t be hanging out in his living room. He just needed to be alone a bit, and as much as he loved them, they weren’t very helpful when he needed to think. Apparently karma had felt cooperative, and no one was home when he got back. He brewed himself a cup of tea, and brought it to his room. Laying on the bed, he thought about Harry, and how he knew so little about him, yet felt, inexplicably close to him. Or if not close, definitely turned on by him. He thought about he hadn’t had a relationship since Stan, and how maybe that was the right thing to do. Because Louis knew that he could be selfish, but that kind of selfish could end up killing people. And his eventual death would be enough, thank you. Louis groaned, about how unfair this was, about how terribly, dreadfully unfair and shitty and- No. He would not let himself go down that route again. So instead, exhausted, he fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter contains alot of fluff and angst and PINING, and also some (poorly written) smut, as well as a side of "How do you whisk ?".  
> Hope you enjoy it!  
> xoxo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi !  
> So, I'm reposting this because the first time I posted it it mysteriously vanished, but no biggy !  
> Here are a few quick notes:  
> 19 Beaufort Gardens is a real place, I stayed in that very flat while on holiday in London. If you feel like it, you can put the address into google maps and look at the street view, to help you get a better idea of where this whole thing is taking place!  
> The songs i mention in this chapter are 'Genius of love' and 'The wordy rapping hood', both by the Tom Tom Club. You can find them on youtube, and I highly recommend them !  
> Their is some smut in this chapter, but I am realllllly bad at it, so please leave me a comment if you think you have advice for me. Or if you don't, I'd still love to hear your opinions! Oh, btw, TW for unsafe sex (as in no condoms while one of the people involved has an STD).  
> I hope you enjoy this !  
> xoxo

Louis spent the next week trying to numb his feelings to a quiet lull. It didn’t work. Harry was not making this numbing thing easy, mind you. Every day, Louis would wake up and tell himself that he wouldn’t talk to Harry that morning. That wasn’t really very difficult, considering Louis was already halfway to work when his roommate opened his eyes. But then the texting would start. Harry’s sly, or sweet, and smart or slightly rude texts would make Louis jump throughout the day, distracting him from his work. And the worst part were the evenings. Louis would come home to Beaufort gardens and Harry, who apparently never worked, would be laying on the couch half naked and zapping through channels. His warm smile and bright eyes would greet Lou, only to turn into a confused look once Louis barely acknowledged him. Louis was trying, he really was. He would speak only the bare minimum with the man, averting his eyes every time Harry stared intently at him. Which wasn’t that often, anyway, Louis thought to himself.

But the heart wants what the heart wants.

So, when Louis came home on Saturday, to find Harry sprawled on the couch, he stayed discreetly by the door, gazing. At the defined muscles, the smattering of tattoos, the loose curls rippling over the shoulders of this man he could not have. Louis quietly took his jacket off, and approached the boy. He was snoring lightly, his perfect eyes hidden behind thick lashes. Louis sat down next to him, a battle raging in his mind. “Louis this is never ever going to possibly work” said the sane part of his brain, while the other, not so sane part replied “This man, look at him, he’s basically candy. And you can’t live alone forever” “Yeah, I can” snapped back the practical side. Louis grunted, and delicately moved his hand towards Harry’s head, only inches from his own thigh. And, ever so gently, he started to stroke it.

If he couldn’t do anything to Harry during his waking hours, than he would have to do so while he slept. Louis sat there for a long time, until his hand had taken up a pattern of caresses. He nearly falling asleep as well, when suddenly Harry lifted his head off the couch and onto Louis lap. Louis froze, his hand hovering above Harry’s head. “’S nice, you can keep going” said Harry, his deep voice slurred by sleep. Louis hesitated. This would mean that Harry would be aware, of everything. He would know, because there is no world where stroking your roommates head while he sleeps is platonic. Nopity nope. But Louis must’ve been courageous that day, as he decided to continue. Harry hummed contentedly, as Louis resumed his circular motions, running his hand through the chocolate curls, shiny and sleek across his black jeans.

“Oi lads, it’s ten past seven, get yer arses out of this flat and into the twingo” hollered Niall from the doorway. Louis jolted awake. Harry’s head was across his lap, and his hand was… In Louis’?? What?? He jumped to his feet, Harry mumbling a “Noo” as his head hit the couch. “Oh, er sorry, ‘m interrupting something aren’t I?” the blond said, awkwardly staring at Louis disheveled look. “No, no it’s nothing” Louis replied quickly, running a hand through his messy hair. Harry slowly got up from the couch in a symphony of joint cracks and “oufs”. I have feelings for an eighty year old, thought Louis, smiling to himself. “Hey mate, yeah, er, I’m not going out tonight” Harry said, walking into the kitchen. “Oh come off it, Mr. Harry-goes-out-every-fucking-night-Styles, you’re not gracing Blunderbuss with your presence tonight?” Niall asked, in an incredulous tone. “Nah, I’m good. I’ll just have a night in, I think. Need my rest after all” the curly man replied, getting a Coke from the fridge.

Niall rolled his eyes and looked expectantly at Louis. Louis thought about it. If he went out, he could get properly plastered and forget about the whole ‘falling asleep like an old couple’ thing that had happened. On the other hand, if he stayed in he could finally have a real, nice, alcohol free evening with his roommate for the first time. “Sorry Ni, I’ll pass” he said, as the sane part of his brain face-palmed. This was the exact opposite of avoiding. This was voluntarily spending time with the specific person he was trying not to like. Well, it’s too late for that, he thought, remembering the feeling of his roommate’s hand holding his. “Suit yerself, but Liam and Zayn‘ll be proper disappointed” Niall said, reaching for the car keys. He didn’t have a car either, and Louis’ twingo had quickly become 19 Beaufort Garden’s official vehicle. “Why don’t you ask Jamie?” Harry asked. “Yeah, I er, yeah maybe” Niall stuttered, his pale face turning crimson as he closed the door behind him. Harry laughed loudly at the blonds hasty departure.“What’s going on with Jamie, I’ve never even seen her” Louis asked. “She’s a dancer of some kind, in an off-off-off the West End way, and she’s also pretty spectacular looking, if you’re into tall red-heads with freckles and a thick Scottish accent” Harry explained, as Louis chuckled “Its’s like the UN in here” he said, as Harry laughed much too loudly. Granted, Louis was funny, but not enough to merit a full blown laughter storm. Hum. That had been interesting.

“So, dinner” Louis asked, snapping Harry out of his fit of chortles. Yeah, you heard him right, the asparagus curly man was having a fit of chortles and he was surprised by the normalcy of it all. Just minutes before he had been pretty damn close to Harry, and now, far from making things awkward, it had just made each other more comfortable. Louis’ brain was going in two very different directions, one of them leaning close to the old ‘If you can’t beat them join them saying. And this was probably bad news, because the side doing the leaning was, gasp, the sane one. Oh well, thought Louis, as Harry replied with a “Yeah, I could cook if you like. If I’m staying in, might as well make myself useful”. Louis beamed. He had never known how appealing a home cooked meal sounded until now. “Yes! Yes that would be great!” He replied happily.

They chatted about this and that while Harry got out the ingredients for an omelet. “Would you mind whisking those?” he asked Louis, who had been cracking eggs into a bowl. Louis nodded and started stirring, but then he thought better of it. Whilst Harry chopped peppers to add to the egg, Louis shyly asked “How do you whisk?” Harry wordlessly arrived next to Louis, slid his hand around his, and stirred. Louis could’ve sighed with joy. Harry was standing above him, around him, his sweet musky scent enveloping him. The slight pressure of Harry’s rings against Louis fingers made him shiver. “There, that should be… alright” Harry said slowly, turning back to his chopping board, but not before running his hand along Louis’ wrist. Louis nodded stupidly, grinning from ear to ear. “Cheers !” exclaimed Louis, raising his beer towards Harry. Harry clinked his coke against the bottle, only to set it down moments after.

He walked towards the speakers, and returned only when “Genius of love” was blasting through the living room. “Wait wait wait” Louis said, finishing his omelet. “You like the Tom Tom Club?” he exclaimed as Harry laughed “You like the Tom Tom Club and you’ve never even mentioned it once in the two weeks I’ve known you?” Harry put his hands up in a gesture of surrender “Hey, hey, I’m sorry, it didn’t cross my mind!” He said, as Louis mock slapped his wrist. He got up and started dancing, granted if wasn’t particularly elegant, but it conveyed enough happiness that Harry joined him, taking his hand and swinging him around. On the chorus, Louis asked Harry what he would do when he got out of jail, and when the expected “Fun, nasty fun!” was screamed by Harry, they both fell into a tangled mess onto the couch.

Louis squeezed himself out of underneath Harry, and went into his room. “Don’t leave meee !” yelled Harry after him. “I’m just getting into something more comfortable, love” he replied, opening his drawer. And shit. Love? This was not going according to plan. Well, there was no plan exactly, but if there had been one this was about as far as you could get from it. Louis shook his head. Get a lid on it Tommo, he chided himself, putting on black joggers and a soft white t shirt. He danced back into the living room, his curvy body rocking to and fro to the bongos of “The wordy rapping hood”. Harry smiled, watching him from the couch. Louis mimed the words to the song, as he jumped onto it, careful not to step onto his roommate. “I’m having a great time!” he yelled to no one in particular, and it was true. For the first time in a while, the weight that usually stayed heavy on his chest had disappeared. “I’m glad” Harry said. Louis was jumping so excitedly he didn’t notice Harry’s unmoving foot. He tripped, and fell onto Harry with a cry of “What the bloody…” as the other lad squinted in pain. Louis had a hand on either side of Harry’s head, his body stretched out above his. The song ended, and quietly, Harry said “If this were a film, this would be the moment where we kiss”.

The silence was heavy, and drowning both of them. Louis stared into Harry’s eyes, and while his mind was screaming him not too, Louis pressed his lips to those of his roommate. First a chaste kiss, like the one that you have with your neighbor, at 6, when you want to copy your big sister. Louis kissed Harry’s plump, pink lips, and all the frustration of the past weeks disappeared. Harry parted his lips, and soon they were licking and biting and swirling, stars dancing in front of Louis eyes.

Harry tasted sweet, yet the salt from their meal and the stubble that lined both of their mouths created a combination that Louis never, ever wanted to have to leave. “Lou…Baby, ‘been wanting to do this since I met you” Harry muttered, as Louis slowly lowered himself onto Harry. He grinded once against Harry’s sweatpants, and with the groan that Harry let out, Louis bit his jaw, immediately sucking and kissing the spot. There would be a mark, and Louis was more than ready to see it the next morning, knowing that he was responsible for it. For the second time, he rubbed down on Harry “So beautiful” Louis murmured, as all the blood in his body rushed down. Judging by Harry’s hard on, he was having the same effect on his roommate. Harry wriggled out of his joggers, and Louis watched hungrily as Harry’s erection rose free. He checked his hand for any cuts, and deciding that he was ok, he took hold of the man’s length. He slid his palm along the underside of the throbbing cock, precome bubbling at the tip. “Oh… God, Lou” Harry groaned, as Louis kissed him along his jawline, and down to his chest, pumping his cock all the while. “Want… To make you come” Louis said, between kisses. Harry let out a raspy laugh “Think that we can manage that” he said. Louis stroked the underside of Harry’s length, and took hold of the tip, twisting it just enough to the left “Lou, I’m gonna…” Louis pumped harder, and repeated the twisting motion, pinching and petting and caressing and rubbing with unmatched zeal. Harry rose up to kiss him, and with one last twist he came, covering Louis shirt. Their lips smashed together as Harry fell back down onto the couch.

“Lou, you’re so, amazing” Harry smiled, blinking the stars out of his eyes. Louis had gotten up off the couch, his t-shirt in hand. “Oh Lou, you…” Harry started, nodding towards Louis obvious erection, hardly hidden by the joggers. Louis shook his head “No Harry, no, it’s, uh, it’s fine, don’t worry about it”. He quickly walked to the bathroom, showering rapidly, and finishing himself off, Harry’s perfect face clear in his mind. He checked his watch, which indicated 1 o’clock. He slipped on a pair of black vans, and grabbing his cell and his wallet. He walked by Harry, his sweaty curls plastered against his neck, still laying on the couch. “Louis, did I do something wrong? Where are…” But before he could finish his sentence, Louis had walked out the door.

He walked out towards the high street, refusing himself any emotion. He hailed a cab, and supposing that Liam would want to go running the next morning and that he’d have already gone home, he gave the driver his best friends’ address. He arrived in front of the apartment building, and rushed up the flight of stairs, knocking once on the door. “Lou?” Zayn muttered, as he opened the door, his sleepy eyes worried by the distress etched onto Louis’ face. “Can I crash here?” Louis asked. “Of course” Zayn said, moving aside as Louis walked in.

“I fucked up, Z, I fucked up and I can’t fix it” he said, finally letting himself feel the turmoil bubbling inside him. He threw his arms around Zayn, who hugged him tightly, rubbing his back. Liam walked in, silently enveloping Louis and Zayn in his strong arms. And finally, after weeks of numbing and repressing, Louis let himself feel. He felt everything, every single fucking emotion, and he exploded, tears streaming down his face, sobbing as he never had before, held by the only two people who would understand just how bad he needed their help.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is quite angsty, Louis is having a tough time making decisions, and also there's been a LiLo fight :(  
> Promise the next one will be a bit less anxiety-filled !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey !  
> So as promised here is chapter 5, I apologize for how utterly disorganized the postings are for this fic ! I am not an organized human, please bear with me ! I'll still try to post a least one chapter a week, if not more if I can manage it. As always, please comment, I really want to know your opinions ! Kudos are also greatly appreciated ;)  
> Enjoy !  
> xoxo

Louis had fallen asleep on the sofa, between Liam and Zayn, who somehow had managed to fall asleep against each other as well. It was a lovely sandwich, and one that Louis had missed ever since he had moved out. Louis wriggled out of the mess of limbs, and made himself a cup of tea. Checking his watch, he saw it was 10 a.m, meaning that Harry would probably still be asleep. Which wasn’t that important, Louis reminded himself, because he wasn’t going to call him.

Liam wordlessly left the couch, rising to hug Louis from behind. “Thanks, for last night” Louis muttered, as Liam squeezed him tightly. “Yeah, don’t worry about it” he replied, making himself a slice of toast. “And I made you miss your run” Louis said, feeling even more guilty than he already was, having had to crash on his friends couch whilst being hugged by them; all during the middle of the night. “Please Lou, it’s not important. I’ll pick talking with you over running just about any day” he chuckled, as Louis smiled coyly.

Zayn joined them at the counter, Louis pouring him a cuppa while Liam pecking his boyfriend sweetly on the lips. “So, what was that all about?” he asked, taking a sip of his drink. Louis hesitated. If he told Zayn and Liam about the previous night’s fiasco, he’d have to deal with the horrible compassion that he knew they would cover him with. They would smother him, just as they had not very long ago. On the other hand, they were his best friends, and disapproval would be mixed with empathy while they would brainstorm what to do.

“I, um, I made out with Harry” Louis said, quickly looking down. Liam gave an unenthusiastic “Ha!” followed by an audible sigh. “You win” Zayn said tiredly, then turning to Louis “You… made out? Define made out”. “Kissing?” Louis tried hesitantly. “Please. You wouldn’t have barged in here in the bloody A.M because you fucking kissed you roommate” Liam said, folding his arms across his chest. Fuck. This wasn’t going how Louis wanted it to. Louis needed friendly advice and reassurance, not two pairs of judging eyes. “I gave him a hand job, alright? And then I freaked out, so I left” he spit out, staring right back at Liam’s dark eyes.

Liam groaned while Zayn muttered “Bloody hell Lou”, as he roughly patted Louis on the shoulder. “I know how stupid it is, okay? I shouldn’t have done it. But do you think it’s easy to not feel? Do you think it’s easy to not envy you lot? You’re adorable together, and this may come as a surprise but I too want this.” Louis gestured angrily towards the two of them. “I haven’t snogged anyone properly since Stan, let alone done anything else. And Harry is, I don’t know, he’s a couple years shy from thirty and he has more fun in a week than I’ve had in the past three years.

” He finished, taking a swig from his mug. As soon as Louis had spoken those words, he knew they were true. Liam and Zayn hadn’t the slightest clue about the effect of their relationship on Louis. Louis loved them, he really did, but being friends with the most in-love couple in all of the bloody U.K while knowing that he was so, so far away from anything like they had, well, it was torture. Sweet, sweet torture. Like presenting a 5 year old with all the toys in the world, then putting them in a box, in a trunk, in a safe, and wrapping explosives all around it.

Louis had known, back when he’d found out, that he’d probably finish his life without a husband, but seeing the reality of that somber future was more than he had bargained for. In fact Louis had bargained for love, and a carefree life, but had been dealt a losing hand, of loneliness and looming death instead. “What are you going to do?” Liam asked impassibly. Louis shrugged. “Move out probably, can’t very well live with a bloke I got halfway to shagging then disappeared on”. Zayn rubbed Louis shoulders, a comforting presence above him. “Right. Except that you can’t do that, cause your place is being sprayed or summat. And we love you mate, but you can’t crash here forever either”. He said, his voice level, but his worried eyes meeting Liam’s across the counter. Louis shrugged again, as Liam left the table and disappeared into the bedroom, coming out moments later with his shoes and coat on.

“I need some air” he said dryly, stalking out of the flat. “Li-“Zayn started, but the door was already closed behind him. “Don’t worry about him, he just needs to blow off some steam” Zayn half-heartedly reassured Louis as he took Liam’s place, sitting across from his friend. “He’s right, this is a hole I dug for myself. I need to work it out alone. What am I supposed to do?” Louis asked exasperatedly, “It’ll be so awkward, for everyone, if I go back there. Besides, I don’t want to have to explain everything to Harry”. “Look at me Lou” Zayn said, taking Louis’ hand “I’m here, and so is Liam” Zayn gestured towards the door “and you have had enough of being alone. You are a grown ass man, and you are going to go back to your flat. You’re going to say you had an issue, you’re going to apologize, and you’re going to go about life as usual. Because this” Zayn hit the table with his other hand, his voice growing more animated by the second. “This isn’t living. This is existing, quietly, and you’re 26 God damn it, you deserve a lot more than this” he finished, tears welling in his eyes.

God Louis loved this boy. Louis got up, and fell into a messy embrace. “Thanks, Z” Louis murmured into Zayn’s neck. “I need to go” he continued, pulling on his vans. “I have a situation to deal with”. “That’s my boy!” Zayn grinned, as Louis slipped a sweatshirt on. “My love to Li, and sorry again!” he cried, walking out of the apartment. “Will do” Zayn beamed, waving his friend off.

\-------------------------------------------------------------0---------------------------------------------------------

Louis walked into his apartment at half past eleven, in a much better state of mind then when he had left it the night before. Harry wasn’t home, which, Louis hated to admit it, was relief. He really wasn’t looking forward to having to talk with him, and some time alone would help him focus on himself. He took a shower, ate a piece of the pizza that seemed to always be in the fridge yet never go moldy, and sketched. He set himself up on the couch, pad and pencil in hand, headphones on and playing all of Philip Glass’s music, and drew. Ever since he was a child, drawing had been the way Louis decompressed. His mother, Jay, had encouraged his gift, and paid for his tuition at the University of Manchester’s Art Program. But Louis quickly realized that, as opposed to his classmates, drawing bowls of fruit and partially nude models wasn’t what he wanted to do with his life. So instead he had spent most of his class time in the small tattoo shop on campus, learning to use a needle and sketch ink into skin.

His designs were successful, and by the end of the year Louis was ready to quit and set up his own shop. But upon realizing that setting up your own tattoo shop when you’re 21, broke, and nowhere near famous, Louis had changed his mind and continued with school. After the graduation, he had moved to Camden with Zayn and Liam, deciding together that they needed to leave Manchester, and all the memories it contained. His tattoo skills had come in handy when he had discovered Clint’s Ink, and he had quickly risen to local fame thanks to his precise hand and original, detailed ideas.

Louis sketched, his pencil swirling with ease and finesse on the paper, creating faces, and curls, large eyes and dimpled smiles. Time seemed to have stopped, as Louis drew frenetically, patterns and buildings and skylines appearing on the paper before him. Pausing only to erase a detail he disliked, he spent hours on the leather couch, barely noticing his phone vibrating in his pocket. He put his pencil down, and checked his cell, only to notice Harry’s name flashing across the screen. He quickly pressed the ‘ignore’ button, and slid it back into his pocket. If he was going to talk to Harry, it would be on his own terms, thank you very much. And also this was his drawing session and no one, and that meant no one, not even Zayn or Liam were allowed to interrupt him.

After what seemed like years more, Louis put down his headphones, and flipped through the pages he had covered in pencil. Green eyes seemed to be looking up at him from every page, solemn, or crinkled and laughing, they were everywhere. And since when had Louis been so keen on mouths? The pages were littered with dimpled smiles, serious lips lined with discreet stubble. With a start, Louis realized he had drawn Harry. Harry’s eyes, Harry’s lips, Harry’s hair, Harry’s nose. Every single thing that made Harry, well, Harry, were scattered across the pages of Louis sketch pad. Louis was terrified. How could this man enter his thoughts, his private, secret emotions to the point that he could draw only him? This devouring, submerging, all consuming feeling he had about Harry was threatening and magnificent, making Louis’ heart beat faster than ever, yet stop completely. He wanted to sing and scream, yell and yodel, leap for joy and punch something all at once.

Louis started panicking. No, nonono, this wasn’t the plan. The plan was to wait it out, let his feelings go away, because feelings did that right? Right? Louis was a grown ass man, he could do this. He glanced at his sketch pad, and let out a shaky breath. This whole idea would work only if he disliked Harry. And right now, Louis was at the exact opposite of dislike. He was more in the ‘appreciate’ ‘like’ ‘fancy’ ‘enjoy’ neighborhood. And that was a very risky neighborhood to be in at this time of night.

He took a few deep breaths and checked his watch. It was half past six, and the parking lot had grown dark, outside his windows. Harry would be home soon, and Louis needed a plan. “Right” he said to the empty flat, “Alright Harry fucking Styles, I don’t like you” he spit out. Well, there was a blatant lie if he’d ever heard one, but saying it out loud did bring a semblance of truth to the words. “You’re too tall, your hair is greasy, and you party way too much. Besides, you move like a new-born giraffe” he heatedly exclaimed, just as Harry walked in.

“Hope that’s not me you’re talking about!” he laughed, dropping his long coat onto an armchair. “Oh no, no of course not, it’s um, just from this show…” Louis finished lamely. “No, no it’s fine! Honestly, I’ve been called worst things. What does trouble me is why you were quoting a show to our empty flat?” he asked, a wicked grin covering his face. Louis chuckled. “Touché Harry” he replied. Oh god why was Harry like this? Why wasn’t he mad about the previous night? Why was he acting like everything was fine? And why was he so bloody endearing? Louis wanted to hit him. And kiss him. Clearly he needed to get. A. Fucking. Grip.

“So, I’m not going to ask about yesterday, I’m sure that you had a valid reason to run out of here like a burglar right aft-“ Harry started, sitting down onto one of the bar stools. “Harry, listen mate ‘m so sorry about that, I-“Louis quickly apologized, but Harry cut him off. “Tut-tut Lou, I said I wasn’t going to ask, which means you don’t have to explain. Let’s talk about your day instead. Did you draw all of this?” he continued, waving towards the sketchpad. Louis grabbed it and closed it shut. “Yeah, just what I do with my free time, nothing much really” he muttered, anxious that Harry had probably seen the drawings.

“Riiight” Harry offered, winking at Louis. Was he doing this on purpose? All the cute remarks and the glorious smiles and the witty comments were making Louis sick in the best possible way. But he couldn’t let himself fall under the man’s charm like an idiot for the second day in a row. “Well, I just popped in to shower, I have this warehouse party out near the Seven Dials, and I’ll try not to bother you when I get back!” Harry said, catching a glimpse of Louis downcast eyes.

Louis nodded briefly, as Harry left the living room. So he was partying again was he? Showing everyone how hip and trendy and young he was, clubbing every night and all. Showoff, he was, and unhealthy too. You were supposed to have at least 8 hours of sleep Louis knew, and at this rate Harry was probably catching 20 minutes a night. Well, that was his own bloody problem, and Louis wasn’t going to worry about his roommate’s irresponsible behavior. He also was _totally_ social and not an introverted, lonely millennial with few friends and fewer parties to attend. Besides, he had enough on his plate, what with the newest season of Breaking Bad just begging to be watched.

He rang the Chinese take away place that he’d discovered around the corner, ordered his dinner and plopped down onto the couch, logging on to his Netflix. Harry appeared about twenty minutes later, dressed in black skinny jeans, a silky, flower patterned shirt that was strategically opened to expose half his chest, and were those... fucking gold boots?

“I’ll see you around Lou, have fun” he smiled, reaching for his coat. Louis didn’t hear him, dumbstruck by the gorgeous figure standing across from him. He vividly recalled the previous night’s events, and was instantly reminded of just exactly what they’d done when he saw the red blotch that stretched across Harry’s neck. Louis shuddered at the memory of just how it’d gotten there. Only after Harry had left did Louis remember that he had wanted to ask why his flat mate had called him in the first place. He found himself quietly uttering a "Be safe" towards the closed door, only heard by the once again empty apartment.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter there isn't much Louis/Harry, but I promise the next one will be full of it !  
> Also, Louis and Liam make up, and Niall is a massive slob, who knows whats up (I know he isn't irl, Niall is my precious baby I would never say anything to hurt him :) ) and Harry Potter is quoted.  
> Hope you like it !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi !   
> So, here you go with Chapter 6, I hope you like it ! Of course Louis and Liam aren't fighting anymore, because LiLo not talking is way too sad for anyone to handle.  
> As always, I'd love to read anything you have to say about this fic so far, you can even drop by and say hi on tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/themotherpotato  
> Your kudos and comments make me super happy, thank you so much for leaving them:)  
> Enjoy !

When Louis left for Clint’s the next day, Harry hadn’t come back to the flat. He drove through the grey London streets, his drowsy blue eyes nearly closing of their own accord. He arrived at Clint’s at five past ten, sleepily going through the motions. Unlock door, lift blinds, flip open sign that Clint insisted they should have in the window because it was ‘cutesy’. He had, so far, fairly well managed to avoid any thoughts about Harry, or the previous evenings’ awkward conversation and drawing debacle. 

He walked into the dark studio, the door chiming behind him. A groan was uttered from the back of the shop. Louis walked further inside, to find a terribly hung over Clint laying down miserably in one of the reclining chairs. “Oh, hey Lou. Early innit ?” he mumbled, shielding his eyes from the light that blared from the halogens Louis had just turned on. “Not really Clint, no. Fun last night?” Louis asked, walking to the sink and pouring a tall glass of water for his friend. “As always Lou, as always” his employer replied, his voice low and cracked. He was used to Clint’s morning after’s, and knew what the man needed most. In this case, hydration. Clint thankfully accepted the glass, downing it in one gulp.  
Clint was in his mid-thirties, but lived like he was still in his early twenties. He was a standing figure of the Camden pub scene, always lurking around the dingiest pubs of the neighborhood, sure to be found with an array of empty bottles around him by nine most nights of the week. His precise hand had made his fame, but drink had made him shaky and careless, no longer letting him practice his skills; and he’d been required to hire Louis, followed by Perrie, if he’d wanted to keep his studio. 

Louis helped him up, and accompanied Clint to the door that led to his flat above the shop. The man ran a shaky hand through his red hair, his pale skin appearing green under the lights. “Go on then, rest up” Louis said after him, closing the door and muffling the sound of unsure ascending steps. At first Louis had attempted helping Clint, every morning tucking him into his bed, water and medication by his side; but after a violent outburst about not needing his pity, Louis had stopped trying.

He checked the register, and noticed only two appointments: his at three, one of his regulars and Perrie’s at two. So Louis sat at the desk, sketching attempts at cover ups and new designs for his clients, focusing intently. He was so concentrated, in fact, that he didn’t hear the door chime as a tall figure walked in. “Hey Lou!” the man exclaimed, startling Louis. He looked up, only to meet the hazel eyes of lo and behold, Liam. “What are you doing here?” Louis muttered, walking around the desk to stand squarely in front of Liam. “I brought some biscuits!” he grinned, waving a paper bag in front of Louis, who didn’t as much as blink. 

Liam shifted uneasily, finally cracking beneath Louis icy glare “Listen Lou, I’m sorry, for acting like such a massive prick, the other day. I was out of line” Liam said quietly, dropping all pretense of innocent good cheer. “It just, it didn’t come as a surprise, you know? Me and Zayn, we saw how you were around him, we were expecting something like this to happen.” Louis smiled sadly, wrapping his arms around Liam’s bulky shoulders. “’s alright” he said quietly into his neck. If felt good to be communicating with Liam again. He’d known him for so long that not speaking to him at least once every day or so felt like a betrayal. 

“I wasn’t any help, at the flat, so if you want to talk now or….” Liam trailed off sheepishly, expectantly awaiting Louis’ reply. “Well I mean, there’s not much to say is there? We got each other off, acted like it was nothing, and have now both moved on like the mature and well-adjusted adults we are” Louis smirked, reaching for a biscuit. “Right, sure” Liam agreed hesitantly, taking a bite of his own. 

“So you don’t like him then?” he continued, and Louis started regretting this whole conversation. Not one to voice his feelings much, the make-up hug-and-biscuits had been great but the whole picking and prodding at his feelings? Yeah, not as much. “Li, he’s funny and sort of insane and well fit. Of course I like him. But that doesn’t mean I should do anything about it. I’m actually trying to avoid any sort of temptation by not talking to him, if you must know” he casually explained. Liam snorted.   
“Louis you LIVE together, how are you not going to talk to him?” Liam asked incredulously. “It’s really not that difficult, he’s not awake when I get up, and when I come home he’s just about to go out. And why are you, of all people encouraging this? I thought you agreed with me, on the whole dying-alone-with-many-cats plan that we made when, you know…” Louis finished quietly. 

“I know Lou, but I had a talk with Zayn-“ Louis cut him off “God you act like my parents it’s terrifying, but go on” “As I was saying” Liam continued “we had a talk and we think that maybe it’s time to start putting yourself out there again. And while Harry may not be the most serious, responsible person, he’s a good place to start.” He finished.  
Louis spit out a piece of biscuit “Liam I can’t believe you’re actually saying this!” he cried, a mixture of incredulity, anger and strangely, laughter, in his eyes. “You were telling me, not even 48 hours ago, that I really REALLY shouldn’t do anything more about this entire mess! What the bloody hell has gotten into you?” Liam sighed. “What you said at our flat.” He replied calmly, staring into Louis questioning eyes. 

“The whole ‘You’re very lucky and I’m missing out’ thing, Zayn and I, Lou we understand. We get how hard it’s been for you, alright? We just don’t want you getting hurt, is all.” Liam finished, his voice peaceful and soothing, as Louis hugged him again. God, Louis was lucky though, wasn’t he? Lucky to have friends that clearly cared so, so much about him. “I’m glad you understand what I was saying, back there” Louis started softly “But I can’t put anyone through what Stan put me through. You get that, don’t you Li? No one deserves that.” 

Liam rubbed Louis shoulder. “Of course I get that Lou. I know how difficult it’s been, these past few years, and I know this is a dreadful cliché sentence, but you only live once” Louis nodded, holding back an eye roll “ you’ve already spent so much time worrying about the lives of other people, I think it’s time you live yours.” Liam ended his long tirade, hugging Louis tighter than ever. 

“Thanks” Louis said wetly, wiping a hand across his face. “I need to go Lou, but here, I saw this at the office and thought you might like to see it” Liam said, handing Louis a card stamped with the Camden Town Teen House for Support and Acceptance, across the front. Louis thanked him, and gave him one last hug before he left the shop.  
Perrie arrived an hour later, and they grabbed lunch at the Pret around the corner, Louis glad to see that whilst the rest of his life was, to put it lightly, in total dissaray, he could always count on her to be as loud,annoying and sweet as usual. They spent the time until the client arrived sketching and voicing their ideas for future tattoos, sharing gossip about their favorite customers. 

At two Perrie got to work on an energetic brunette who was getting Adele lyrics inked into her arm, and at three Louis greeted Tom with his usual bright grin. He was glad to see him, as Tom had been one of the first people he’d tattooed upon getting hired at Clint’s. He spoke comfortably with him about this and that, while drawing a stylized L into his fore arm. 

Tom had just become a father, his wife Lou having given birth to a healthy, and adorable baby named Lux. Louis had been overwhelmingly grateful for their offer to be godfather, one that he’d gladly accepted. Tom had chosen the L, wishing to carry on himself the namesake of the two women he loved most, and Louis was more than happy to be the one inking it into his arm. He himself had had many a talk with Tom, about the symbolism of tattoos, their value, and the meanings that were shared only with a few close people. Louis loved the idea of having part of someone else inked on to him, a constant reminder of their presence on his body.

Finally, at quarter to six, Perrie went upstairs to check on her uncle, and Louis had started closing up the shop. He slipped his coat on, and gave one last look around the place, only to rest his eyes on the front desk, to see the card Liam had dropped off that morning. It was clearly from Liam’s workplace, a free teen counseling program that had started in Camden Town a few years prior. He curiously turned the card around, to read the following:

“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love.” – Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore

He stared at the words printed across the card, unable to move, a soft smile tugging at his lips. Because of course, of fucking course, Liam had given him an inspirational Harry Potter quote. Because that was how Liam was, always wishing to share wisdom, any wisdom at all, even if it was provided by a fictional wizarding world celebrity. Louis stuffed the card in his pocket and drove back to Beaufort Gardens, stupidly grinning all the way.

Louis opened the door of his flat too find Niall munching noisily on some crisps, spread out on the couch in front of a trashy BBC 3 show. “’ey Louis” he lazily voiced from his horizontal position. Louis briefly wondered if his neighbor actually spent any time in his own apartment, or if he essentialy lived in theirs as a third roommate. He decided on the latter.

“Oh, hey Ni” Louis replied, setting his coat down on a chair and getting a soda from the fridge. “Are you coming out tonight? The lads and I were going to hit the old ‘Buss, I’m playing this evening” The Irishman asked. Louis hesitated. Staying in was a very sound, secure option, and one that did tempt him quite a bit. On the other hand, Liam’s pep talk had, if not woken, at least prodded the sleeping social butterfly dwelling in Louis, and going out to listen to Niall’s band did sound entertaining.

Finally, Louis nodded. “Yeah, yeah sure, why not?” he replied, more to himself than to Niall. “Brilliant! You’ll come with Harry then, I’m leaving now-“ Louis gave him an incredulous stare, letting his gaze roam around the crumb covered couch and the joggers-clad Niall. Niall chuckled good-naturedly and continued “Well, not right this second, but soonish. To set up and the like”. 

“Sounds great mate, I’ll see you there then” Louis agreed, finishing his drink. “Where is he, Harry I mean? Didn’t hear him come in last night” he inquired, in the most nonchalant tone he could muster. “Dunno man, must’ve gotten laid, slept at the blokes’ or summat. He’ll be back soon though, don’t worry about it” Niall replied indifferently, turning back to his trashy program. Louis nodded stiffly and headed towards his room.

Why did the fact that Harry had slept at another man’s house, with, let’s be realistic, another man, bother him so much? He shrugged off his clothes and changed into his favorite pair of tight black skinnies, pulling on a dark patterned muscle tee. He checked himself in the full length mirror propped up against the wall, and decided that, to be quite honest, he looked good. His ass did, anyway. Pity that no one would get to see it tonight though, he muttered to himself as an afterthought. 

He heard the door to the flat slam shut about ten minutes later, indicating that Niall had risen from his horizontal, crisp laden heaven. Louis stood in front of the bathroom mirror, working pomade into his thin hair, trying to get it to lay just the way he liked. Messy, but in a way that showed he cared about his mess. Coifé décoifé, Mel’d called it, the last time he’d dropped by for a trim.

Finally, at around seven, he heard Harry’s distinctive, boot clad feet walking energetically across the wood paneled floor. Louis checked himself in the mirror one last time, lightly sprayed his favorite cologne onto his slender neck and headed out to greet him. This was a platonic outing, with friends, to a pub, in a totally undate-like way, and yet Louis couldn’t help the feeling bubbling in the pit of his stomach. The bubbly, squishy excitement that anyone could tell you, was commonly referred to as ‘butterflies’.   
But Louis wasn’t going on a date, and he most definitely was not getting bloody butterflies for Harry bloody Styles.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is VERY angsty ! Also it contains UNSAFE SEX so if you are triggered by that you have been warned. I talk about it more in the notes, so yeah. Also this chapter is a bit smuttay and it contains the part that I've been buiding up to pretty much since the start so...  
> I really hope you like it !

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI !  
> So I just posted this without rereading it because I wanted to get it out as promised, i.e by Wednesday, but fear not I will correct it tomorrow (feel free to leave me a comment about any corrections).   
> Some info:  
> -I mention Sonic Youth and a song by Simon and Garfunkel in this chapter, feel free to look them up if you're interested.  
> -This chapter contains UNSAFE SEX. If you have an std please please please always wear a condom, no matter what (this has been a PSA)   
> -I am not a doctor and am in no way trained to deal with or even that informed on HIV/AIDS, please do not take what I write as gospel, I've just been googling things as I go  
> As usual, your comments and kudos make me super happy, please keep leaving them :)  
> Hope you enjoy !  
> xox

Louis walked into the living room to meet Harry. He stood discreetly in the hallway, awestruck, admiring him. His curls were tucked under a beanie, and he was wearing a soft looking grey sweatshirt over his usual skin tight black jeans. He looked so soft, and young, and Louis just wanted to hold his hand and kiss him gently till the end of time.

“Hi” he said quietly, as Harry looked up from his mobile. “Oh hey Lou” he smiled, sliding his phone into his pocket. “Excited for tonight? Ni’s been texting me for an hour, he’s got butterflies” Harry said, as Louis rolled his eyes fondly. “You don’t suppose he’s expecting paps or anything, do you?” Louis asked, remembering Niall’s very particular situation.

Harry chuckled warmly, and God did Louis love that sound. It was throaty and warm and probably the best thing he’d ever heard. “No, no I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. To be honest, Niall’s a wee bit paranoid about that whole thing, plays it up a bit, if you see what I mean” he explained, as Louis nodded, grinning.

“Right. Well. Let’s go shall we?” Louis nervously asked, slipping on a jean jacket and reaching for the keys to the twingo. “Let’s!” Harry exclaimed, sliding into a black pea coat and closing the door behind Louis. “Shotgun!” he cried, as he quickly squeezed himself into the passenger seat, after crossing into the cold parking lot. 

“You’re a child. Fine” Louis conceded, as Harry playfully pushed his arm. The touch was seconds long, but it scorched Louis’s skin like a burn. Heat seemed to be radiating through his sleeve and into the small car. “Can I choose the music?” Harry asked, reaching for his phone. “Sure, yeah, just no generic pop please” Louis requested, rolling his window down. “Ooh, Mr. Snobby-Mc.Snobby-pants doesn’t listen to generic pop, does he now?” Harry smirked, eyes fixed on his screen, scrolling through his music. 

“Heyy” Louis replied, pushing Harry back “I just don’t like any of it, is all. It’s too boppy for me, and besides, they make way too much money”. Harry snorted “You can’t not like any of it Lou” he started, finally deciding on a song. “This for example. You can’t not like this!” Harry bobbed his head to the music coming out of his phone. 

Louis distantly heard the lyrics, but he was too focused on Harry to even try to start listening to the song. The wind made Harrys’ curls flutter, and his green eyes were illuminated by the street lights. They slowed down at a red light, and time seemed to have stopped. Louis saw Harry nod his head in slow motion, his smile appearing gradually. 

Harry turned his head, and was struck by Louis eyes, and how they too gleamed amongst the city’s illuminations. Slowly, ever so slowly, Louis approached Harry, his heart beating furiously in his chest as he tried to stop any sensible voices in his mind.

Short breaths were mixing in the few centimeters that now separated their mouths. Eyes never leaving each other, Louis leaned in…. Ready to finally taste again the lips of his roommate, lips he’d been trying to forget but only managed to yearn for instead. 

The car behind them honked, and they jumped back, startled, their eyes looking down immediately, anywhere but at each other.

After that, they didn’t speak, driving silently too Blunderbuss, Harry’s music being covered by the sound of Louis heart beat in his ears. He had been so close. So, so close to the pink, plump, perfect lips that he hadn’t managed to get out of his head after feeling them against his own. Harry looked at him, a grin tugging at his lips, whilst Louis’s eyes stayed trained on the road, afraid to look anywhere else. 

They parked in amicable silence, and headed into the noisy bar. They squeezed themselves through the masses of people speaking animatedly, and found the table Liam and Zayn were sitting at. “Hey!” Liam exclaimed upon seeing them. Zayn and Liam sitting together, Louis was forced to squish into the opposite booth, with Harry. Not that he particularly minded.

“How are you guys?” Harry asked, as Louis reached for a beer that Liam had ordered for him. “Oh, we’re great, yeah, how about you?” Zayn replied, Louis internally cringing at the ‘we’. “Oh I’m wonderful. Terrific. Fabulous!” he exclaimed, waving his hands exaggeratedly as the three others laughed.

“What’ve you been up to ?” Louis asked Liam, who shrugged. “Not much; the usual really. Work at the House, same kids, though we do have a new girl that came in yesterday, she’s not in my department though.” “Oh right, that reminds me, thanks for the card” Louis muttered quietly, as Liam gave him a small smile.

Zayn and Harry were lost in an animated conversation about something or other, probably generic pop Louis thought to himself, grinning inwardly. Zayn had always had a soft spot for teenage pop stars, and while Louis never missed an opportunity to tease him about it, Zayn always reminded him of how snooty he sounded when making comments such as “They’re really hasn’t been a decent album since Daydream Nation”. 

“So, where’s Niall?” Louis asked, glancing at his watch, then at the empty stage. “He shouldn’t be long, it’s nearly half past” Harry replied, taking a swig of his own drink. As if on cue, Niall walked onto the stage with a guitar strapped to his chest, alongside a dark haired man headed for the drum set, and a short, blue-haired girl reaching for the bass. They looked towards the wings, as an Asian man of about twenty ran in and set himself up in front of the turntable.

A collective ‘Ahh’ filled the bar, the background music being turned down. “Good evenin’” Niall greeted them into the microphone, “it’s great to be playing here tonight! We are Cahoots with Putin, and this is ‘A shady haze of winter’, enjoy!”. The drummer mouthed a one, a two, a three, a four, and they were off. Niall’s deep and strong voice mixing with an intense beat and exceptional base, the crowd was going wild.

The four of them had gotten up to stand amongst the crowd, swaying and clapping along with the music. “He’s good isn’t he?” Harry shouted to Louis over the music. Louis nodded vehemently, his agreement not reaching Harry’s ears above the enthused crowd. Louis closed his eyes, letting himself be carried by the sound of music and the animation of the crowd, alcohol buzzing in his system, everything appearing fluid and connected. 

Niall finished his song to thunderous applause, the crowd eager for more. Quickly though, the pub became less of a concert venue and more of a dance floor, carried by the electronic rock mix Niall was somehow producing in front of their very eyes. Bodies rocking in every direction, heads nodding and hands waving, Blunderbuss was alive. 

When Louis did open his eyes again, it was to meet a pair of bright green ones. Startled, he stumbled a bit, being caught by Harry. “Oops!” he muttered, as Harry let go of his arm. They were close now, having wordlessly arranged themselves across from each other. Their bodies swaying as one, nearing each other. Suddenly, Harry had his arms around Louis’ hips; “Hi” he murmured, his hot breath making Louis shudder. 

“Hi” Louis replied, linking his arms behind Harry’s neck. They were perfectly aligned, Louis’s head the being the only part of him not touching Harry. Their sudden closeness made some things obvious however, like Louis hardening cock for example. Harry felt it too, and quickly their chaste oscillation turned into a languid search of friction.  
Louis danced against Harry, their thighs meeting and lodging in strategic places, both of them looking for the slightest bit of friction. With every beat of the song, Louis rocked himself against Harry’s leg, desperate for friction. 

“Hot, aren’t you Lou?” Harry breathed throatily against Louis jaw, nipping him lightly. “You’re beautiful like this” he murmured, turning Louis around so that Harrys hips were aligned with Louis arse. Louis, who quickly realized that whatever affect Harry was having on him, he was having the same on Harry. The heated pub air and the buzzing, electrifying surroundings made Louis feel light headed, in the best way possible. 

Harry was now rubbing against Louis arse, too many layers of clothing stopping him from getting where he neede to be. “Let’s get out of here” he whispered to Louis, who jerkily nodded his agreement.

Harry pulled Louis towards the bathroom, their lips crashing together while they hastily closed the stall door. “Harry, god you’re…” Louis started, biting at Harry’s bottom lip, while Harry unzipped Louis’ jeans. Louis slid his tongue into Harry’s mouth, who shuddered and quickly managed to do the same. Louis’ hands were running through Harry’s hair, as he kissed Harry with unmatched passion, seemingly drinking him in. Harry let out a moan, which was enough to make Louis’ cock twitch urgently. 

Harry dropped to his knees and took Louis’ cock out of his pants and trousers, contemplating it. “Lou, you have a fucking wonderful cock” he breathed, as Louis let out a raspy chuckle. “I’m serious, it’s beautiful” Harry continued, and without further warning he licked a long stripe from the tip to Louis’ downy haired base. Louis let out a groan, Harry taking him in without any effort. “Fuck, Haz” he uttered, tugging Harry’s curls “I’m pretty bloody… close” he managed.

Harry was taking him impossibly further, as Louis knees buckled, spilling into his roommate’s mouth. Loudly, Louis swore, as Harry pulled off him with a pop, getting up to kiss him. “This is filthy” Louis grinned, kissing Harry languidly, tasting his own come in Harry’s mouth. “You love it” Harry smirked back, as Louis kissed Harry’s collarbone, exactly where he had the last time. “We should go back out there, Liam and Zayn must be wondering where we are” Harry said, getting up and extending his hand towards Louis.

Louis, however, was fixated on the space that separated their stall from the one beside them. On the dirty, pub toilet floor, lay a purple condom wrapper. “Fucking hell” Louis swore, not out of pleasure this time, standing violently. “Louis, what’s going on?” Harry asked, alarmed, laying a hand on Louis’ firm bicep.

“Harry, this was a mistake, alright? We can’t ever do this again” Louis burst out, shaking his arm out of Harry’s grip. “What are you talking about? This is just a blowjob, it doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to” Harry started, his confused eyes trying to meet Louis’. “No, this isn’t just a blowjob Harry fuck, don’t you get it? This can’t happen. We can’t let this happen” Louis said furiously, zipping his trousers.

“Didn’t you like this? Did I do something wrong?” Harry asked, and he was not going to make this easy was he? “No Harry, you’re bloody perfect, you know that. You didn’t do a fucking thing wrong. I’m the one, who… who fucked up” Louis finished, his voice cracking, aware that the entire bathroom of Blunderbuss was witnessing his melt down.  
“I’m sorry Haz” he said weakly, walking out and back into the pub. He made his way through the crowd, back towards their booth. “Hey, Louis, my man!” Liam exclaimed, waving his hand towards his friend. Louis ignored him, fished a tenner out of his pocket and slammed it onto the table. “Is everything allr-“ Liam started, but Louis had already turned on his feet, and stalked out of Blunderbuss, a hand wiping ‘sweat’ off his face.

He got in the twingo and sat there, in a pub parking lot, letting angry tears stream down his face. How could he have let himself believe anything Liam had said? He wasn’t capable of anything like this, he had known it from the start. So why had he even fucking tried? Shakily, even though it was against doctors’ orders, he lit himself a cigarette, inhaling the characteristic smoke into his lungs. A knock on the window of his car startled him out of the downwards spiral he had fallen into.

Looking up, he was met with Harry. Of course this man, this silly, lovely man, had followed him out of the pub and into the lot. Wordlessly, Harry opened the door and installed himself beside Harry, white spots still visible on his lips. “You’re my ride” Harry muttered, attaching his seatbelt. 

Louis sighed and started the car, throwing his butt out the window. The drive back to Beaufort Gardens spent in the most loaded silence Louis had ever had to live through, his eyes trained on the road. They silently entered the apartment, Louis heading straight for his room. He changed into his joggers, and walked into the bathroom, to find a pajama clad Harry brushing his teeth. 

“Oh sorry” he muttered, quickly exiting. “’s fine” Harry managed through the foam, moving aside to let Louis access the sink. They brushed their teeth side by side, their eyes trained on their respective feet. When Louis headed back to his room, Harry followed him. “Can you explain what’s going on?” he asked, his voice hurt and visibly unsure. Louis shrugged noncommittally. 

“Were having a good time, everything is going perfectly, and then you fucking spaz out and act like you’ve committed a double homicide” Harry started, his voice louder as he gained assurance; “I’d like to know where were at Lou, because whatever this is” he waved his hadn angrily between them “Isn’t going to work if you keep on pulling these disappearing acts on me” he finished, just about shouting in the quiet flat.

“Harry, I have fucking HIV, aright?” Louis cried out. And there it was. He’d said it. Harry’s face fell, his mouth a perfect O. “I have fucking HIV and I don’t know how to deal with it let alone have a relationship with someone now that I’m diagnosed, even though I fucking want to” Louis shouted, tears streaming down his face for the second time that night.   
“I’m so sorry” Harry said quietly “I don’t know what to say”. “Don’t bother” Louis replied, “and in case you’re freaking out there’s only a five percent chance you got it from giving me head, but just in case, you should go to A and E tomorrow, there’s a pill you can take for free”. 

Harry nodded, and walked out of the room. Drained and powerless, Louis let himself sink into the bed, feeling more lost than ever before.


End file.
